Paranoia: Happiness is just a laserblast away

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 2:09 am

"What are you working on that's so important, friend?" she called as she backed away from the door.

She looked to John and Jim.

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 2:12 am

"Very important....things that are above your security clearance, Citizen. So please do not ask further or else you'll be reprimanded by Friend Computer I'm sure."

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 2:19 am

"You don't know my security clearance, bot," she pointed out.

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 3:25 am

"Yes I do Citizen, as identified by the R in your name! Silly Citizen, you shouldn't try to trick The Computer's equipment. Now...be on your way please."

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 3:32 am

Jim stood by, quite happy to let Colgate fail utterly in her attempt to talk the bot out.

He glanced at the ceiling wistfully, then resumed keeping his pistol aimed at the door.

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:22 pm

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Colgate said regretfully, "if you won't come out for me, I'd have to ask one of my superiors to come and get you, friend, and I'd hate to have to do that... you know how hard they can be," she said, trying to play the sympathetic angle a bit.

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:28 pm

"I'm afraid that they won't like it if they come in here. I don't think you'd like it if you came in here either. So for all concerned I think it'd be best if you just don't bother."

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:34 pm

She smiled so that he'd hear the change in her voice.

"Friend, life in Alpha Complex is rarely about what we like."

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:35 pm

"Indeed but everything is for Friend Computer and as such, it's in the best interests of Friend Computer for you to leave me to my duties."

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:41 pm

"What are your duties, then?" she asked, "So that I may report that all is well?"

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:42 pm

"I'm a Scrubot! I clean things of course!"

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:43 pm

"Well then why have you been in the same office for so long? Surely the rest of your patrol coordinates need cleaning as well."

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:44 pm

"This office required extra careful cleaning due to... less then clean nature of the food vat work areas."

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:47 pm

She rememered the default office schematics and then said:

"But that office is only forty-nine cubic feet! You clean at a more-than-satisfactory one-point-five cubic feet per second, thus requiring half an hour for a room this size. Perhaps an hour if the room were filthy!"

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:50 pm

"And I've only been here for 24.5 minutes! So even by your own math I still have much more to clean and diverting precious resources to carrying on a debate with you is obviously only going to further impede my work!"

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:52 pm

"Twenty-four-point-five minutes is well out of the regulation time for a bot to be cleaning without a check-in with a supervisor," she pointed out. "It will only take one moment and then we can end this!"

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:55 pm

"My supervisor is well aware of my current location. Now I really must insist, Citizen, that you leave me to my work!"

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:56 pm

"Very well then," she said, moving away from the door. She dropped her hands to her sides and looked to the others.

"Any ideas?" she whispered.

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Thu Dec 15, 2005 1:47 am

"Didn't you suggest shooting the door?" he asked John, cheerfully passing the buck.

Post by **Dark Silver** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 8:56 pm

"Indeed" John said in a gruff voice, as he walked to the door, and instead of shooting it, he pressed in a auto override code into the lock (OOC: spend 2 perversity points for the feat.)

John smiled cheerfully, as he stepped aside, drawing his laserpistol as he motioned thier explosives expert (Jim) forward.

"Jim, point, Colgate back him up, I'll cover the rear!"

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:25 pm

He blanched. That was the problem with letting John run things. Laser pistol wobbling as he nervously advanced, he stepped up to the door, ready to dive back out if the scrubbot so much as looked at him menacingly.

"He-he-hello?" he asked in a quavering voice. "We're from Friend Computer... we're here to help you!"

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 10:31 pm

A robotic sigh came from within the room.
"I told you, Citizens, while I'm grateful for the offer I don't need assistance."

The door slid open on well maintained tracks. The interior of the office was well lit and neatly organized like all offices in Alpha Complex should be. Everything was how it should be, everything in its place. Everything looked clean, pristine, immaculate. Everything, that is, save for the blood splatters covering the walls and consoles, the pool of blood around a RED body(the blood, of course, was of appropriate security clearance), and the scrubot hastily trying to hide its gore-soaked cleaning instruments.

The scrubot stopped in its tracks and turned its optics towards the Troubleshooters.
"Oh.... Hello, Citizen?"

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 10:34 pm

Jim smiled and turned to usher Colgate forward, incidentally nudging her into a puddle of blood.

"Your assessment, friend Hygiene Officer?"

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 12:18 am

Colgate held the cyborg arm out in front of her, ready on a hair trigger in case things got ugly.

"Might I ask what happened here, friend?" she asked to the bot.

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 12:34 am

"I'm really not sure what happened. All I know is this place is filthy and I need to clean it so please leave me to the cleaning."

The scrubot slowly backed away from the door and began to try to clean up the blood splatters off the wall.

LibriumArcana.Games

Paranoia: Happiness is just a laserblast away

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